after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
