I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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