I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
