would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
