Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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