I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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