I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
vagina is talking i cant
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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