Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
