It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You took a bar mat shot.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
