the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
