i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I had to cum in my sink.
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