i was born a porn star she said
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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