I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
