I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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