I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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