It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
