Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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