some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize