Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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