therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Barsexuality is the new black.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
