Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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