I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
