Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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