What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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