yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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