I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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