Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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