Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
