This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
