i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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