Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
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