dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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