dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
tell me about the fingering
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