We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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