Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
