too bad you live with your parents still
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
