You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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