If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
