Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
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