I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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