i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
