Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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