I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You did what with his pubic hair?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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