Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
The air was thick with penises
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I think your dad took our porno
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
