On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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