No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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