my mouth tastes like poor choices
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
