Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Randomize