Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she peed on how many people?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
