Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
