Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
third nipple confirmed
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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