If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
