i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
