oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
