Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
