I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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