There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Green mimosas i think yes
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
