I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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